Part 1 of 2
Take this stone
Can you say good-bye to love? To love and let go.
To be tough. Love tough.
When is it the time to?
How can it ever feel right?
Feelings go deep. However, so does the pain. The hurt.
We love, we cherish, we hold dear. To what? A dream, an ideal?
Does life here on earth go on forever?
No.
Heaven and hell are forever. Eternity.
Life can be cruel. It is hard. It is what perfects us, they say.
It chisels away at us making us a thing of beauty.
No.
Making us damaged. Closed. Non-feeling. Hardened like a wall.
Stones and mortar build walls. Yet, so does pain.
How can this be? To have, to hold, to touch. Then to let go.
I rest my elbow on my wall and exhale.
Pain. Tears. Sobs of loneliness. Disillusions.
Who’s dreams were they anyway?
Do dreams go away? Or just go dormant?
Do they hibernate till love knocks again?
Every time they go away are they harder to wake the next time?
Like a doe, timid, crossing the open meadow.
I am afraid. I am hurt. I am tired.
Pass me that stone.
Life and love is a risk.
How do you hold on to the one who is bound to pain?
The pain of ensnarement. Slow death.
We act powerless. Helpless.
It is theirs. Their choice. Their will. But, our pain.
Can you turn your face and not see?
I reach above my head and place another stone.
Can you walk away and not look back?
I need more mortar.
Can the heart withstand that?
On scaffolding.
If I reach over this wall and extend my hand would you take it?
If not, am I set free? Did I do all that I could?
Can we ever be as loyal as a dog? As patient?
They do not see our faults, our ensnarement.
Can’t we just sit still and hold a hand? Why must we see?
Why must we feel pain? How much pain can one person take?
Hand me another stone.
Why must we be so hard on ourselves? On others?
How can one find themselves out of the pain?
Is there a map? A guide?
Can the One who breathed life into us see our pain?
Heal our pain? Set us free? Breakdown these walls?
Yes!
But, we must take the first step and fight.
There will be pain.
However, in Jesus name, there will also be freedom!
Take this stone, please.
Caroline Thomas teaches Weekly Bible Studies to hurt and broken people at the woman’s recovery home, the County Jail, and Geo State Prison. She can be reached at abbynormalstories@gmail.com
