Most of us have crossed paths with it — maybe in a partner, ex-partner, a family member, or even a neighbor.
At first, they seem confident, charming, magnetic. But over time, you start to see it’s not confidence — it’s control. Their world only has room for one person, and it’s never you.
Narcissism hides behind smiles, promises, and charm. It can walk into your life as love, friendship, or support — but its real purpose is to take. To take your energy, your trust, your kindness, and sometimes, even your identity.
Narcissism is a strange kind of sickness. It feeds on admiration but can’t accept love. It builds walls made of pride and mirrors made of lies.
They make you feel sorry for them while bad-mouthing others, twisting stories to fit their own agenda. They’ll buy gifts, play the part of the “good friend,” and do favors just to be the favorite — not out of love, but out of control. It’s sickening, but sadly, it’s true.
Some were raised feeling like the black sheep — ignored, unseen, or constantly compared. They craved love and attention, but never learned how to earn it in healthy ways. So they created a version of themselves that could never be rejected: charming, confident, admired. But deep down, that mask is just a shield hiding a frightened child who never felt enough.
These people crave attention because deep down, they’re terrified of being invisible. They dominate others because they fear being small — like there’s an invisible hole inside them that can never be filled. In their desperation, they do cruel or selfish things, creating problems and chaos just to feel powerful or relevant. Every moment, they must prove to themselves they’re important — even if it means crushing anyone who threatens that illusion.
And here’s the truth many don’t want to face: narcissists aren’t just born — they’re made. Somewhere along the line, they learned that vulnerability was dangerous. Maybe they grew up unseen or unloved, so they created a false self to survive. The tragedy is that the mask became the person. The performance never ends.
That doesn’t excuse the damage they cause — but it helps explain why their hearts seem so cold.
Because behind all that arrogance is deep emptiness. Behind that anger is fear.
You can’t truly love anyone if you don’t even know who you are.
For those of us who have loved or lived with narcissists, the healing comes in learning this truth: you cannot fix them.
You can show kindness, but you can’t cure denial.
You can forgive, but you can’t forget what it taught you.
Your peace is not a gift to others — it’s your right.
The most dangerous part of dealing with narcissism isn’t their lies — it’s what their behavior can turn us into if we’re not careful.
We start doubting our worth.
We start apologizing for things that aren’t our fault.
We start losing sight of who we are trying to please someone who will never be satisfied.
So the work becomes about us — about reclaiming our voice, our confidence, our boundaries.
We learn to say “no” without guilt, to walk away without anger, and to forgive without returning.
We stop looking for closure from someone who never opened up to begin with.
Can narcissists change? Maybe — but only when they decide to look in the mirror and see the truth. And most never do.
But we can change.
We can choose to stop feeding the cycle with our pain and instead fill our own lives with peace, love, and light.
At the end of the day, narcissism is a disease of the soul. But it can’t survive in an environment of truth.
The more honest, self-aware, and loving we become, the less power that kind of darkness has over us.
So if you’re reading this and you’ve been through it — if you’ve been lied to, gaslit, used, or made to feel small — know this:
You are not crazy.
You are not broken.
You are free.
Join the conversation: share your questions, concerns, or stories. If you’re looking for guidance, I’m here. Renocomments@yahoo.com
