Dear Editor,
May is a busy month with Mother’s day, graduations and Memorial day weekend activities. Hopefully these occasions have presented or are presenting you with opportunities to connect with friends and family.
Too often our connection time with people is at the funeral home. Back in the old days, social family gatherings were more popular. Families would gather to visit. Today, our communication with others is a social media post or a text message at best. The days of people driving a few hours to just visit with others may be over, for some.
People still see others at the funeral home. I have spoken at a few funerals over the years and the crowds are not as large as they used to be. However, people still drop by to express their condolences.
Often, you will find people socializing with each other at funeral home visitations. They will be huddled in different corners of the funeral home catching up with people they haven’t seen in a long time. Or, they are in the coffee room sharing jokes, enjoying food and having a good time. The grieving spouse or close family members are in the chapel grieving but throughout the funeral home, it’s family and friend reunion time.
Several years ago, I spoke at the funeral of a dear man. He was in an open casket in the hallway of the church. No one seemed to pay any attention to him. He was dead. It wasn’t like he could engage with anyone. Yet, it seemed weird to me that while it was his funeral visitation, it did not seem to be about him. The occasion did lend itself to people gathering to visit, laugh and have a good time. The children weren’t laughing or visiting very much as they were obviously grieving.
I think it is wonderful for people to gather, visit, laugh, eat and have a grand time. This is good for us all, but why don’t we do it while we are alive? The dead person is not able to enjoy the fried chicken and banana pudding. Of course, the deceased is no longer present. If this is you, why not have the fried chicken and pudding while you are alive? We should try to have our family and friend gatherings while we are alive and can participate. You won’t know who is at your funeral nor will you care. It really won’t matter. Will those who gather, if they do gather, really be a comfort to the family that is left behind? Maybe they will. Maybe they won’t.
The point of all this is that dead noses smell no roses. They don’t savor the food or enjoy the laughter of those who are gathering. Thus, why don’t we try to visit and have a good time with each other while we are alive?
Dr. Glenn Mollette
