Dear Editor,
Friendship is a two-way street. If a relationship is totally dependent on one person it won’t last very long.
If you have to make all the effort a friendship will soon die. One person, does not make a friendship, marriage or any kind of relationship.
The telephone works both ways. Text messages and emails work both ways. Telephones are made to make calls but they also receive calls. If you have to make all the calls, make all the effort to connect with someone then you will become tired and give up.
This may be why so many people have so few friends. If you want a friend, be a friend. If you want to be connected to your marriage partner then every day it’s mutual communication and companionship.
If you want help, then help others. If you want love, then love others. Whatever you invest in will typically come back to you.
We’ve all had experiences with the family member who never comes to see us or shows any interest in anything we are doing. We’ve all invested in loved ones and given until we are blue in the face. There always seems to be those that we have tried to reach out to, befriend and love but who ignore us or even bite us.
Many of us have at least one family member who always finds a way to be sour, hateful or critical and never misses a chance to complain about something. Why do we put up with these people? I don’t have a good answer but I know many of us deal with these personalities.
Often, people are the meanest to close family and friends. A spouse may treat another spouse badly because they believe they can get by with acting so badly. Relatives often do the same thing. People get by with it for a little while but eventually loved ones and friends will begin to pull away. In time, mean people will find themselves very lonely. You can’t treat others badly and get by with it forever. It will come back to you.
Don’t waste your life constantly trying to love the people who shrug you off. Move on!
This is not rocket science or brain surgery. Return communication. Don’t act like you are King Tut and are too important to make phone calls. Visit with others and respond to messages, texts, etc. Reach out to others and show yourself friendly.
Of course, there is a chance that you love being in isolation and prefer to just stare at the walls or television. You have the right to make that choice, as long as you don’t mind living with that choice.
Dr. Glenn Mollette
