National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is February 23- March 1
I remember in my High School English class the teacher asking the students what they wanted to be in the future. Several wanted to be movie actors, some rock stars and a few pro athletes. It seemed everyone wanted to be someone famous. I wanted to be the “skinniest” but I didn’t speak. At that time in my life I was fighting Anorexia Nervosa. There are over 10,000 deaths a year from Anorexia Nervosa, an eating disorder where a distorted self-image and fear controls a persons normal eating patterns and can sometimes even lead to their death. Sadly, social media platforms have given the anorexic an audience to their slow suicide, feeding their need for attention and fame. John 10:10 “Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy lives. Jesus came to give life”. Being someone famous on social media won’t satisfy the need we all have for real love.
Being super skinning brought me attention. I was a runner and I was told if you want to get faster, get skinnier. I was already thin, but I was driven to win, so I started starving myself. As I became obsessed with food, fear and torment set in and I started seeing normal healthy food as food that would kill me. I cut more foods from my diet. My mom became worried and took me to a doctor, then she forced me to drink a glass of milk. I cried the whole time because of the fear that it would kill me. She hid my running shoes on Sundays but I would ride my bike for hours in sandals to make up for it. I would weigh myself several times a day and I started doing stupid things like running alone at 3:30am down city streets in the dark. When I did eat I wouldn’t eat in front of anyone. If I saw someone else skinny I would have hate towards them because they were my competition. I was tormented, yet proud of my skinny body. However, one day in the PE locker room I was changing clothes and brushing my hair in front of the huge mirror and I saw my back for the first time. I didn’t recognize myself. All I saw was rib bones, bones like on a person from a concentration camp. This scared me! I prayed and told God that I didn’t want to die. The next day my sister made some chocolate chip cookies, for some reason when no one was watching I ate one. The spirit of death broke off me and at that moment and I started eating again!
I had became a Christian at 11 years old, but during this time I had forgotten God and I was full of fear, jealousy and hate. But God was just waiting for me to reach out to Him. When I cried out in my high school locker room God heard me! Psalm 34:4 says, I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. A sound mind is what I needed!
My road to full recovery took some time. One day as I was crying out to God he spoke to me and said, “Carolyn I love you”. He knew what I needed, and that was His love. As I spent time reading the Bible, praying and renewing my mind my nature changed and I started loving people, all people. I no longer needed to be someone special, I wanted to serve this loving God and help others! God is Love, and if He helped me He will help all who call out to Him. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. Take the first step today, you can trust Him.
For prayer and a free Bible contact Caroline Thomas at abbynormalstories@gmail.com
