Dear Editor,
Do you give people a second chance?
The joy of life is usually found in our relationships. Family, friends, co-workers, business partners, military comrades, fellow Republicans or Democrats, fellow church members, recreational buddies, team mates and more. These are the people we know. We spend our time with them.
These relationships engulf our lives. We work, pray, love, succeed, fail, laugh and hurt with these people. While many of these life relationships are fulfilling, often they can be disappointing and negatively impact our lives. An old saying from a country preacher is, “To live there above with those we love will be glory, but to live here below with those we know is a different story.”
Usually, life’s greatest disappointments come from the very people we count on. They are the ones who hurt or disappoint us in some way. There is the marriage partner who fails or hurts us. There is the sibling, child or even parent who may break our hearts. Or, maybe it’s the business partner who stabbed you in the back. It may have been the people at church who judged, condemned and then shunned you. Yet, you figured out that your relationship is with God and not with them. However, if we all have a good relationship with God, he will enable us to help, love and forgive each other. Most of us need a lot of that.
Too often people disappoint us because we have unrealistic expectations. Other people are just like you and me. They aren’t perfect and do dumb stuff just as you and I do. We all have done and said things that disappointed others. None of us are perfect.
Somehow we have to extend grace to others and hope that they will extend some to us. We all need grace. If you point your finger at someone you will have four pointing back at you.
We will continue on with our acquaintances, friends, relatives and those with whom we work and play. To try to do otherwise means we would have to live in a cave, on a remote island, or up on a hill somewhere in isolation. Possibly, this is where you are in life and where you desire to be, totally separated from everyone. It might work for a while. Especially if you are trying to write a book, finish a project or complete a special task.
The biblical character Joseph had his heart broken by his brothers who betrayed him and sold him into slavery. Years later he saved all of them from starving to death and took care of them for the rest of their lives. His story is one of true grace, forgiveness and taking the higher road with those who had treated him so badly. Most of us would say, “Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me.” Therefore, you will have to contemplate to whom you give a second change.
Dr. Glenn Mollette
